Comments

  1. Honey

    Honey on 02/20/2006 5:39 a.m. #


    <br />
    When cold bites<br />
    The blanket of smoke<br />
    Becomes a welcome wrap<br />
    <br />

  2. Mike Fletcher

    Mike Fletcher on 02/20/2006 10:04 a.m. #


    Yes, you're right, it was a bit too wordy, how about this:<br />
    <br />
    A smokestack rises<br />
    Across the city<br />
    Too cold<br />
    The smoke<br />
    Cannot escape<br />
    Falls back to the earth

  3. Mike Fletcher

    Mike Fletcher on 02/20/2006 10:07 a.m. #


    Hmm, I think I like the original better, sounds too forced now... Probably just needs a one or two work tweak.

  4. Honey

    Honey on 02/28/2006 4:02 p.m. #


    <br />
    I’m Right? <br />
    <br />
    I write <br />
    That you know one felt<br />
    Life in your every word<br />
    Maybe not with the heart<br />
    In which they were intended<br />
    But felt just the same<br />
    And ritually extended<br />
    <br />
    How many others in <br />
    Your word world can there be <br />
    Will weaken at their caress<br />
    Bleed at their wield <br />
    Throw at their mercy her distress<br />
    Or to their calling yield <br />
    <br />
    Don’t I bring you pleasure Mikey<br />
    Don’t you feel the pain<br />
    Don’t you long to draw me close<br />
    And rebuff me at the same<br />
    <br />
    Have my incensed words <br />
    Left to the waste of atrophy<br />
    The glory of the game<br />
    The ecstasy of poetry<br />

  5. Mike Fletcher

    Mike Fletcher on 02/28/2006 11:41 p.m. #


    I pause<br />
    <br />
    <br />
    Sometimes<br />
    <br />
    <br />
    Before speaking<br />
    <br />
    <br />
    Considering whether to speak

  6. Mike Fletcher

    Mike Fletcher on 02/28/2006 11:46 p.m. #


    I am a hard man child<br />
    Growing up too young<br />
    So never growing up

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