I had a very disturbing dream last night. Won't bore you with the details, suffice it to say that the main plot read like a doomed-wish-fulfillment fantasy. It was disturbing because it was one of those dreams where you wake up from it in stages, realising part of that wonderful world is gone or false, then another part, and then it hits you that it was just a dream and everything that just happened was impossible. It was disturbing because it felt so good and I've been working so hard for so long to forget those ideas.
Looking back, it's easy to see the symbolism, to know why various elements were chosen, they are ready shorthand for family, for belonging, for being accepted, and for being rejected, but why does the subconscious have to choose those particular elements? Well, probably because it knows they are the most effective shorthand, because it knows they will produce the strongest reactions, that they will allow the easiest resolution of the problem it's trying to solve. For some reason the subconscious doesn't seem to care how disturbing the experiences are to the waking mind... curious that... maybe something to look into some day.
Which is all well and good to think about, but the next night it's hard to just lie down and wait for that heart-wrenching scenario to repeat. You wind up doing all sorts of crazy things, like writing blog entries, to keep your mind away from dreams of all shapes.
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